


Headstrong

by cadkitten



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Come Shot, Desperation, F/M, Fights, Frottage, Gen, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Oral Sex, Other, Sex Toys, Snowballing, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-14 13:07:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1267579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared has grown uneasy with not discussing certain things with his wife, but he can't share them in front of Thomas. What's a man to do?</p><p>(Note: the Jensen/Jared is fleeting and only in a dream sequence)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beekeepercain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beekeepercain/gifts).



> Sequel to [Heedless](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1169394)  
> Beta Readers: sakura_ame

Jared stood in the kitchen, coffee cup in one hand, the other loosely gripping the counter behind himself as he studied Gen. She was currently attempting to feed their child and she looked nothing if not adorable doing it. And that only made what he'd already decided they needed to talk about that much harder. For one, he had to leave in under an hour, and for two... she'd gone and woken the kid up rather than letting him sleep through them having a meal together.

He sighed and ran a hand over his face, bringing the cup to his lips and finishing off the mildly warm liquid within. Making a face, he turned around and rinsed the cup out, washing the rim and then putting it on the drain board for tomorrow. He stood there for a moment, the water running for no other reason than to give him a chance to figure out what words he could use to convince her to put Thomas into the playpen so they could talk.

After a few seconds, he turned off the water and dried his hands on the tea towel hanging from the lower rung of the fridge. Putting it back straight, he turned around and squared his shoulders. "Gen... we need to talk," he offered quietly, "without Thomas present if possible. It's not a subject I would like to discuss around him."

She looked up at him, something unreadable in her eyes for a moment before she breathed out, "What?" giving him a look that was so utterly lost it nearly broke Jared's heart.

He sighed softly and then muttered out, "Adult topics."

Gen looked somehow a bit relieved and then murmured, "You know Thomas can't understand us yet, right?"

"Yeah, and my luck his first word will be something I say that he shouldn't know. Let's not." Jared leaned back against the counter again, crossing his arms loosely over his chest. "Just... go with me here, please? It makes me uncomfortable to discuss in front of him."

"Okay, okay... give me ten and I'll put him down to play. Meet you in the TV room."

It was still dangerously close to the kid, but at least if they talked quietly, it would be less like he was directing his issues toward someone that didn't need to hear about them in the very least. He gave a small nod and then stepped out of the kitchen and made his way into the TV room. Settling down on the couch, he pulled one leg up on the seat and leaned slightly to the side, looking as if he were deliberating a few things for the time being. 

He considered his words carefully, not wanting to upset her or trigger an argument over anything. But he honestly was getting to a point where he felt almost left out of their relationship and he was growing more and more ashamed of his reactions to things every single day.

Gen walked through the room into the big living room area and settled their kid into the crib. He could hear her crooning at Thomas as she showed him the various educational toys Misha had been kind enough to pass on to them and then came back out, sans child. She came to the couch and settled down next to Jared, turned slightly to the side so she could look at him, concern written on her face. "What sort of adult stuff?"

Jared took in a short breath to steady himself before he quietly offered, "How long has it been since we had sex?" She stared at him for a while and then shrugged, shaking her head to indicate she actually didn't know. "Yeah... my point exactly," Jared returned, shifting back to rest somewhat against the arm of the seat. "And it just seems like every single time I try to even do something... by myself," he winced a bit at that, not usually one to be embarrassed about such things, but somehow feeling very much horrified about it right then, "it just seems like you and Thomas end up in the room somehow."

Gen looked somehow a bit confused and then started in, "But he's just a tiny baby and there's no way he would-"

Jared held up his hand and shook his head. "I am familiar with that argument and I'm sorry, but I just... can't. It makes _me_ uncomfortable if nothing else. But I honestly think that there is some way he could know what we're - or I'm - doing... I mean it's not like he's not sentient." He sighed, his hands coming to fidget a bit across his jeans, a frown on his lips. "I will not do anything with him in the room, period. I don't care what arguments are given for it, I just won't."

"I understand. But... you're the one bringing it up, so what _do_ you want as a solution if not that? It's not like we can ditch him in the other room all the time like he is now. I'm sort of stressed out being this far from him right now. If I couldn’t hear him playing with that thing Misha gave him, then I'd be rushing in there to make sure he wasn't choking or-"

Again, Jared raised his hand a little, causing her to pause. "You worry a lot and I get that. I do it, too, when it's just Thomas and I. I panicked about even telling the fans his name at first, remember?" His shoulders rose in a careful impression of what might have once been a shrug before he lowered them and breathed out a defeated sounding sigh. "I'm not asking you to ditch him. Hell, I'm not even trying to ask you for anything in particular. I just feel like we needed to talk about this because it's seriously starting to affect me." He made a face and then continued, "I know women don't have... externally obvious issues when they don't get off. But men do... _I_ do. And it's gotten to the point that we actually had to re-take a few episodes because of it." After a few seconds of looking rather bitter, he breathed out, "Jensen fucking noticed," as though it was somehow a horrible thing.

Gen gave him a sympathetic look, though after a moment, she pinned him with something slightly sterner. "You've never been one to skirt around things so much, but now you're acting like you've never talked about sex before with me." Leaning forward, she put her hand on his thigh. "Jared, we just had a child together. I'm pretty sure you're not a high school virgin anymore."

He grunted, placing his hand over her own, the urge to move it up over his jean-clad length stronger than it really should have been. But, much to his credit, he simply held her hand. "I know. Thomas has... changed things. Like I was well aware it would change our sex life, possibly put it to non-existent, which it has. But I didn't think about how it would mentally change me and how I'd be afraid to even give myself a hand when I need it." He was silent for a second before he snorted. "I resorted to going after myself at work the other day. And you know as well as I do that there's no lock on that trailer door."

"And what would you have done if someone had walked in on you?" She asked quietly, a certain gleam in her eyes that Jared hadn't exactly expected to be there.

"I..." he stared at her for a moment and then huffed out a small laugh. "Honestly? I think I'd probably have jizzed myself out of shock. I was so riled up it took an embarrassingly short period of time anyway."

"Okay, well, clearly you need at least time for yourself. Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it. I'm not unreasonable here... I just didn't realize." Gen shot him the most apologetic look he could remember ever seeing on her face.

"If I go to 'take a nap'," his hands lifted for form air quotes around the words as he spoke them, "please realize I'm not actually napping... and keep Thomas out of it. If you'd like to... join me... please do. But the instant Thomas is involved, I'm one thousand percent off."

"Right. Anything else?" Her hand lightly patted his leg.

"Do you think we could... actually have sex once in a while? I'm not asking for a lot or even often, just... something fast every few weeks?" He gave her a hopeful look, his eyes pleading with her to understand and maybe give him this part as well.

She considered him for a few moments and then sighed. "All I can tell you is that I can try. But it may end more frustrating than anything else. If Thomas starts to cry or anything, you know we'd have to stop. And that'd leave you-" as if on cue, their son began to bawl his precious little head off in the other room and she stood up, giving him a look that clearly displayed what she meant before hurrying out of the room and into the adjoining one to tend to whatever was going on with the baby.

Jared sat there for a few moments longer, gazing off toward the TV even though it wasn't on, feeling simultaneously relieved and more frustrated than he had in a very long time. He pursed his lips as he pushed himself up out of his seat and headed for the kitchen, grabbing his lunch, and then his jacket. He pushed his feet into his flip-flops and padded outside, ducking into his car. He wasn't sure what he'd just accomplished, but he was pretty sure it wasn't anything spectacular and he was perhaps more afraid of that than anything else. Now it was only up to time to tell what would happen.


	2. Chapter 2

_Jared strained against the ropes that bound his hands to the headboard, his body arching up toward his lover as their fingers slid from his body. The mattress springs protested as the pair moved, Jared spreading his legs wider, his eyelids finally sliding open to stare up into the face of his lover. At the same instant he was filled more fully than he'd ever been, shock and desperate approval slamming into him along with Jensen's cock._

Gasping for air, Jared sat up in bed, fumbling with the covers and then realizing he was safe and sound in his own bed. One glance at the clock confirmed he'd need to be up in fifteen minutes anyway. Gen lay beside him, snoring softly, something she only did when she was truly exhausted and had likely been up all night with Thomas. He reached to turn off his alarm clock and slid out of bed, padding into the bathroom and quietly shutting the door.

He took a minute to stare at himself in the mirror, shaking his head and muttering out, "What the fuck is wrong with you, Padalecki? Really? Why did you have to go _there_ of all places?" He sighed and shoved away from the sink, turning on the shower to let it heat up as he moved around the bathroom, halfheartedly shoving his toothbrush in his mouth and more chewing on it than brushing as he shucked off his pajama bottoms, staring down at his hard cock as if glaring at it might help it stop being hard somehow.

With a sigh, he stepped into the shower and actually quickly brushed his teeth, rinsing his mouth in the shower water and leaning out to toss his brush on the sink before he adjusted the curtain and started to shampoo his hair. After a few attempts to take a piss in hopes that it might get his erection to subside, he gave up, letting out a disgruntled breath and shaking his head. It figured, it really did.

He quickly soaped up his body and rinsed his hair, adding conditioner before he stepped under the spray of the water so that it was hitting his front mostly, avoiding the conditioner he'd just put in. His hands quickly worked to slick off the soap and then, finally, he gave in, grasping his cock and starting to jack himself off. His hips strained, his entire body quivering with the desires that ran rampant through him after that stupid fucking dream. Even now, as he touched himself, he couldn’t help but think about what it would feel like to actually have another man claiming him.

Frustration was quick to follow the pleasure that such thoughts provided. He was a married man and he had a child in his life. There was _nothing_ in the world that would make him cheat on Gen, no matter how frustrated he was. But his dreams seemed to have a whole other idea. Besides... since when was he even into bondage anyway? Though, his cock twitched the moment that he thought about it again and he had to give into the idea that perhaps he had developed a few new desires somewhere along this highly dry path.

As much as Gen had promised him they'd do something, it just hadn't happened. Every single time Jared even so much as rolled toward her with the idea of trying to start something, Thomas would interfere somehow, as if he knew what was coming and was trying to stop it. It'd gotten to the point that Jared could even simply think about sex and how much he wanted Gen and the kid would start screaming, no matter where he was in relation to him.

Jared forced out a little grunt, always enjoying the sound of his own pleasure when he was working himself and finding that he felt at least somehow safe to do it this time. His pace quickened over his shaft, his mind supplying him images of both him being taken by an unknown man and him thrusting deep inside of Gen for the first time since their child had been born. He was close, so close that he was nearly panting with the effort of it, the slick sound of his hand over his cock growing more obviously loud.

And then the bathroom door opened. Instantly, he froze, the most strained and nearly angry look on his face as he pulled his hands away from himself and mentally cursed. For a moment, his hands balled at his sides, and then he just gave up, turning around and starting to rinse out the conditioner. By the time he was done, he could still hear Gen moving around the bathroom, presumably getting herself ready for the day. He opened his mouth to start to ask if Thomas was there or not when he heard the distinct sound of the kid's gurgling.

He actually deflated against the wall of the shower, dejection written all over his features as he attempted to debate how the hell he was going to get out of the shower and the bathroom like this. For once, his dick wasn't on auto-deflate and he felt more uncomfortable with that than he had ever felt about anything in his life. Of that, he was utterly certain.

A few more minutes slid by and finally, he slicked out his hair, rinsed off one more time, and then shut off the shower. He shifted and then peeked out, reaching to grab his towel, hauling it back in with him and doing a quick job of drying himself off. He gave it a few more moments and then used the towel to sort of press his dick up against his body, holding it tightly and praying Gen wouldn’t notice. He shoved the shower curtain back and stepped out, skirting around Gen and Thomas as fast as he could, trying to get into the bedroom.

The towel got caught on the drawer knob as he passed, the only hole in the towel catching on it and snagging, ripping the thing from his grasp as he was so damn eager to get out of the room that he didn't even realize he was hung up until the towel was on the floor and he was stark naked. He froze on the spot, Gen looking up and sort of fish-mouthing at him for a moment. For an instant, he fumbled with the damn towel and then cursed, letting it go as he darted into the bedroom and into the walk-in closet. He stood there for a second, feeling more humiliated and horrified than he could remember anytime recently. He ran his hands over his face and then started grabbing at shirts, yanking them down out of the cubbyhole as he tried to find the soft maroon one he liked on days he was really stressed out. It had become a sort of symbol to the cast and crew that he needed a bit more space and less jokes than usual.

After three of the cubbies, he still hadn't found it, and he was starting to lose his grip. He let out a frustrated sound just as Gen appeared in the doorway, still holding Thomas, but also his maroon shirt. She held it out to him, a certain sadness in her eyes as she did. "I washed it for you."

Jared started to turn toward her but then realized she was holding Thomas and he was still naked... and horribly, still aroused. He snatched up a pair of jeans and shoved them down to cover himself before finally moving to get the shirt from her hands, giving her a look that was more confusing than anything. "Thanks," he muttered, knowing he was being crabby and just praying she understood why.

"I didn't mean to interrupt you," she started in quietly, "I didn't know."

Jared stood there for a moment, his nerves on edge and his entire being wanting to just scream in frustration. Finally, he managed to get out, "Can you please put Thomas down in his crib for a moment? I... need to dress."

"Jared... I know it bothers you, but for God's sake, he's a boy, too. It's not like you've got different parts or something." She gave him an exasperated look that was the final straw for him.

Bitterly, he let out, "Yeah, well, his doesn't do," his hand waved around down toward his dick, the shirt in his hand flying around, " _this_ yet." 

She stared at him in near shock at his tone, finally moving to go and put Thomas down. She was quick to come back, finding Jared still standing in the same place. "You have seriously got to calm down... you realize you're stressing yourself out, right?"

His eyes flicked up to hers and he snapped out, "Me? ME?" Anger surged as he started to yank his clothing on, making a show of having to put his still-hard cock into his jeans before he zipped them up. "Oh, I'm sorry!" The sarcasm was biting it was so thick in the statement. "How about we realize it's not just me, okay?!" He grabbed a hoodie and shoved it on, jamming his feet into a pair of loafers and then stalking up to her. He leaned in and hissed out, "You should be happy your husband isn't some kind of fucking freak and has a _huge_ problem with his own kid seeing him in such a state." With that, he was past her, making his way toward the front door, ignoring lunch and everything else, just grabbing his stuff from the stand next to the door and jamming it into his pockets.

That short stop gave Gen time to catch up and she caught him by the sleeve, glowering at him as he turned to look at her. "Don't you dare. You're being a jerk and you damn well know it." Her hand lightly pushed on his arm before she let go, shaking her head. "What the hell set you off today anyway?"

"How about you interrupting me by bringing our son into the bathroom while I was in the middle of getting off? Hmm? How about that?"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "He couldn't see you. Even if you were being loud or something, it's not like he would have understood what it meant!"

He stared at her for a moment and then shook his head. "I don't _care_. I have a huge problem with it, okay? I'm not going to change that just because you're not nearly as uncomfortable with it!"

Gen didn't look amused, her arms tightening and the glare on her face getting worse. "So what are you gonna do? Go to work and spank it in the trailer again?" she sneered it out at him.

He was silent for a moment and then squared his shoulders. "So what if I do?"

"And you have no problem with someone else walking in on you? But your own wife is a horrible thing?!"

"This isn’t about you!" Jared was honestly growing more and more exasperated by the moment. "If you'd been alone, it would have been fine! Did I _ever_ used to stop when you walked in on me before?"

"No, but Jared, we have a child-"

He finally just lost it entirely, and exploded, "And that's the fucking problem! You're attached at the hip to him and we can't even be adults anymore!" He flung up his hands and then turned around, grabbing the doorknob and jerking the door open. He paused on the doorstep and they stared at one another for a few moments before he half barked out, "I love you."

"Then act like it," she returned quietly, shutting the door in his face with a small flick of her wrist.

Jared stared at the door between them, his face a disbelieving mask of horror. Sure, they'd argued before, but this was... way over the usual bounds of such things. He turned away and walked stiffly to the car. Getting in, he buckled up and pulled out of the driveway, heading down the street. It took him a few minutes to become aware of two things. One, his hands were shaking pretty bad... and two, he had to piss so bad he thought he would surely end up wetting himself before he got to work. Though, at least his dick wasn't hard anymore, those last moments at the door having killed everything.

By the time he got to the parking lot and parked beside his trailer, he had the head of his dick in his hand through the material of his jeans, pinching at it to prevent himself from using the car as a toilet. He turned off the engine and squirmed a bit, almost afraid of the walk to his trailer and the fact that he couldn't exactly get out and rush over there holding his prick at the same time.

He squirmed and then finally reached for the door with his other hand, shoving the door open, turning to get out. He recognized the feet before anything else and he raised his eyes up to find Misha giving him the most sympathetic look on the planet. His hand grasped his dick tighter for a moment and then he let it go, shakily trying to stand up. "I'll open the door," Misha offered quietly, not commenting at all on his predicament or anything else just yet.

Jared waited a few seconds and then stepped away from the car, his keys falling to the ground.

"Just get walking," Misha waved him off, shutting the car door and grabbing the keys off the ground, hurrying toward the trailer and then opening the door for him.

The sound of his car locking and arming followed him up the steps and in the next moment, he was making a mad dash for the bathroom, already fumbling open his pants. The door didn't get closed to the bathroom or anything and the instant he had his dick out, he was already going, some of it missing the toilet but thankfully not finding its way onto his pants or shoes.

Misha just followed quietly, closing the trailer door and then sitting down on the recliner that Jared didn't normally occupy, waiting on the other to be finished and come back out.

Jared finished up and cleaned up the slight mess, washing his hands and double-checking if he hadn't messed himself at all. Humiliation burned at him and he sort of slunk back out, plopping down in his recliner and shoving his hands through his hair, looking sincerely stressed out.

Misha, thankfully, skipped the topic of what had just happened, offering a quiet, "Gen texted me and told me you guys fought this morning before you left. She was worried." He reached out and gently patted Jared's knee. "Now I'm worried. Talk to me."

"What am I supposed to say?" Jared sighed, staring down at the hand that rested on his knee, thoughts of it moving up his leg even higher surfacing almost instantly. Horror flashed through him and he wacked his head back against the headrest, letting out an angry sort of sound. "I'm the worst person in the world right now."

"I highly doubt that," Misha returned easily. "Vent it all out. Yell, scream, terrorize... or tell me you desperately need a shoulder to cry on. I have no preference on how you get it out, only that you do." He took his hand away, as if sensing something was going on that required him to back off a bit with his usual easy-going affection.

"I just... God... how the hell have you and Vikki survived the kid thing? I'm so fucking frustrated I don't even know what to do with myself anymore." He groaned and then rolled his head to the side to stare at Misha, silently pleading with him to have all the answers.

"Frustrated how? Are you feeling like Thomas is taking all the attention? Is he crying all night? Sick? Parenthood not everything you thought it'd be?" Misha was silent for a second, but when he got no answer, he plunged on, "Does Gen hoard time with him and not let you parent him, too?"

"Well..." Jared started in and then paused, looking almost ashamed. "Yeah... sort of." Realization that his frustration wasn't entirely based around his sexual desires started to form and he sort of half gaped at Misha for a moment. "I didn't even realize it, but... yeah. She's always attached at the hip to him. She never lets me get him when he's crying, it always has to be her. She feeds him, she changes his diapers, she bathes him... it's all her. And..." he pushed himself forward and bowed his head, pushing his hands into his hair and tugging lightly before dropping them to rest across his thighs, "and I'm useless."

Misha's hand lightly brushed over Jared's upper arm before he stood up and came to kneel in front of him, forcing him to look at him. "Jared... she's a new mother. This is her first child. Of course she's panicked about doing everything. It's not a lack of trust, it's an inability to hone back the maternal instinct at all. She's not meaning to push you out of it, probably doesn't even realize it." He offered a small smile. "Vikki did it to me at first, too. I finally told her how I felt and she started giving me time with West. You just have to let her know... maybe bring up that you would like more time with your son and you feel bad not doing more. Be gentle about it."

Jared gave a small nod and then rubbed his hands over his face, looking exceptionally tired all of a sudden.

"Now... what's the rest? I know this isn't all of it. That was just underlying."

"Sometimes you're too observant, Misha...."

"And sometimes you stove up like an idiot. C'mon, out with it. Whatever it is, trust me... I'm not easily thrown off. And anything you want to stay between us will stay there. It's important to have someone outside of a relationship you can bounce things off of, confide in, that sort of thing." Misha's hand came to rest on his knee again and this time he didn't remove it, even when Jared focused on it.

"It's sex related, I doubt you want to know."

Misha snorted - actually fully snorted - and then shook his head. "You've got a lot to learn about me. If it's sex related, I _definitely_ want to know."

"It's the opposite of interesting... trust me." Jared sort of flopped back against the seat again and stared up at the ceiling for a moment. Already, the warmth of that hand on his knee was starting to get to him, stirring something inside him that had been riled up this morning by the dream he'd had. And that was the crack in the dam. In the next moment he simply poured out, "I dreamed that Jensen was fucking me." There was a half a second pause before he tacked on, "And I was tied up."

Misha let out a quiet little huff of a laugh and then muttered, "You think this is not interesting? You live under a rock, Padalecki."

"Okay... that part is, but the fact is, I haven't had sex with Gen since Thomas was born. Not a single thing. Every time I so much as even think about it, Thomas starts crying or screaming. And I can't get a moment alone either. Gen keeps interrupting me and she's _always_ got him with her. It weirds me out so much and I'm just not okay with even being turned on in the same room as he's in." He shook his head and then sighed. "The fight... this morning. It was because I was trying to... in the shower... and she comes in with Thomas and I just... _fuck_!" 

Misha's fingers tightened on his knee and he cleared his throat, forcing Jared to look at him. "Is it really every single time?"

"Yes!" Jared groaned, giving Misha a pleading look. "I'm freaking out. My brain is forcing these dreams on me now and all kinds of thoughts I've _never_ had before, like it's got some desperate agenda to make me even more horny than I already am." He looked pissed off for a moment. "Hell, I was so fucking hard I couldn't piss this morning. That's why the whole... incident happened." He threw up his hands and flopped them back down against the recliner. "I exploded at her because she's insistent I'm being an idiot with the whole thing. My towel came off and Thomas saw me, I'm sure of it. I'm mortified and it just panicked me so bad and-"

Misha pushed himself up out of the floor and leaned over Jared's seat, blocking him in. "Jared, I need you to take a breather here. And I want you to listen to me, preferably without arguing until I'm done." Once he got a nod, he continued quietly, "You're a new father and that can be a turbulent time. You're feeling like Gen is hogging Thomas to start with and then on top of it, you can't even seem to get time alone that you so desperately need. You want time alone, time with Gen, and time with Thomas and you don't feel like you're getting any of them. That's obviously not an easy place to be stuck in. But you're making things worse on yourself the more and more you panic about it."

Finally, he backed up a bit, standing in front of the chair still, his posture relaxed and easy. "The part about you dreaming about Jensen... is that the first time you've ever thought about having a man in your life in such a way?" Jared shook his head ever so slightly and Misha continued, "And has it been specific in the past? Any person in particular or just... the thought of it?"

"Just the thought," Jared admitted quietly. He would never have thought that he'd be admitting such things to anyone, but if anyone would understand it would be Misha. After all, he knew the other was fully and entirely bisexual and that Vikki had actually allowed a man into their relationship in the past. If there were one person on the planet that wouldn't judge him, it was Misha.

"Okay, so the frustration building up is forcing a face of someone you enjoy the company of... someone you trust and like, onto this usually faceless fantasy. That's not uncommon at all." He offered a small smile, attempting to make the other feel better with the simple way he looked at him. "Have you ever actually been with a man?"

"No." Jared shifted slightly, starting to feel the arousal from earlier creep back in, knowing it wouldn’t be long before he was just as hard-up as before.

"Does the actual idea of being with a guy interest you or just... the fantasy of it? I need you to actually think about that for a minute before you answer. It'll probably give you a few answers of your own if you can accept what you find." Misha moved back to his own chair, though he sat in it so that he was more facing Jared still, watching him attentively while he mulled over the ideas in his head.

Jared turned it over and over in his mind. He had first thought of having a man taking him in such a way years ago, when he'd just been a teenager. Hell, he'd even gone so far as to obtain and watch a few porno DVDs with such content in them and he'd gotten off just as hard to them as he had to the ones with men and women together. But once he'd found his first girlfriend who had actually slept with him, he'd simply attempted to dismiss it. The urge to follow through on it was low in comparison to the lust he'd felt for the girl he'd been with.

But later on in life, he'd allowed the fantasies to be present a few times. Always the same nameless, faceless man, taking him hard from behind, one arm around his waist and the other jerking him off. And then when Gen had stuck her finger up his ass and showed him what it felt like for his prostate to be stimulated, he'd become nearly desperate for the sensation. That's where his vibrator had come in, the slim piece of magic that was just long enough to reach his prostate and felt so goddamned good up inside him. 

He shifted a little and breathed out a soft sigh. He was definitely hard just thinking about this and one glance at Misha told him the other knew he was. He looked away again and then forced his mind to think about the dream and then how he'd gone after himself in the shower while thinking about the faceless man taking him. Pursing his lips a bit, he prodded it one step forward and debated how he'd feel with a man touching him in reality. He imagined how it would be if he allowed another man's hands on his body, the press of his strength as he pushed him down on the bed and- he snapped out of it, realizing he was nearly panting with arousal at just the mere idea of it. 

Slowly, he looked up, meeting Misha's knowing eyes, and breathed out, "I'm bi." It wasn't a question, something he was a bit surprised about, but a hard statement and even as he spoke it, he knew it was the hard truth. "How... did I not know?"

"You knew," Misha offered quietly, "you just refused to address it. It happens. But now you have and you've admitted it to yourself... and to me. If I had to be honest with you, it's not all that uncommon that someone whose sex life dries up in the face of a child realizes something they never had before, either. It forces you outside of a comfort zone and into the face of the unknown. Your mind and body will do their part from there to let you know."

He pushed himself up, making his way past Jared, toward the door. He paused and placed his hand on the other's shoulder. "If you want my advice on how to deal with telling Gen, I'll gladly give it. But right now... I think you need some alone time more than anything. I'll combat anyone coming this way for a while." With that, he was out the door, closing it soundly behind himself, the sound of him stepping off the stairs crystal clear.

Jared didn’t hesitate in the least. Rather, he yanked open his jeans and tugged his shirt up and behind his head, leaving it on his arms so it'd be easier to put back down quickly if need be. His fingers closed over his straining cock and he couldn’t even begin to bite back the moan that bubbled up and out of him as he began to stroke. His hips arched and his back strained, his head pushing into the headrest as he really went after himself. No fucking around, no small actions. This was for one aim for now: to cum.

His eyelids slipped closed and this time, the faceless man was between his legs, plunging into him as he kissed him harshly, the feel of his stubble pressing against Jared's own as they pawed at one another with a need that just wouldn’t quit. Jared released a harsh cry as he started to cum, thick spurts of his cum landing across his stomach and dribbling down over his fingertips.

It took him awhile before he finally started to relax his trembling body back against the recliner. His hand moved a few more times over his dick, his mind wanting more, but his body far too sensitive for the time being. He'd just have to ask Misha to play lookout for him later, before he went home to face God only knew what. Cleaning up, he couldn’t help but glance in the mirror, finding a much more relaxed man in it. Somewhere along the line, he was just going to have to be utterly honest with Gen and tell her that getting himself off was what kept him sane, what kept two feet firmly on the ground and his head from getting shoved up his ass.

He wasn't really looking forward to the talk, but he knew well enough that it needed to happen.


	3. Chapter 3

Jared stood in the kitchen. It was a day where he had nearly four hours before he had to be in for work and this was about as good as it was going to get for him and Gen to have the time they needed to talk things out. Things had been tense and honestly, Jared hadn’t felt like he had the words to figure out what to say to her the evening before. He'd talked with Misha for a few hours after wrap before they parted ways, the older man helping him work out the lingering doubts over his earlier realization. It wasn't completely accepted in his mind yet, but he was learning to deal with it and he couldn't have been more grateful to have Misha in his life right then.

Gen bustled around, quickly cleaning up from their breakfast and then wandered out of the room. Jared watched her go into the bedroom and then tilted his head curiously when she came back out without Thomas. Once she was back in the kitchen, he put his coffee cup down on the counter and gestured to the chair she'd just vacated. He would have sat down as well, but this was his comfort corner. If he felt trapped or upset, he always ended up here somehow, and like hell if he was going to leave it for this discussion.

Once Gen was settled down, he cleared his throat and then quietly started in. "I'm sorry I got so upset yesterday... there was just a lot more to it than I was willing to admit to even myself." He sighed, giving a small shrug as his fingers lightly picked at the edge of the countertop, the small piece of facing coming up just a little from his nervous habit. "I regret yelling at you and losing my temper."

"I'm sorry I slammed the door in your face," she returned, shifting so that one leg was crossed neatly over the other, her hands resting on her lap as she studied him.

A slight nod was his reply as he shifted his weight to his other foot and then reached to rub at his nose. Dropping his hand back to the counter, he sniffed and then started in again. "There's a lot of things we need to talk about, honestly. I had a long discussion with Misha..." his eyes flicked up to meet Gen's, "thank you for sending him to me."

"You needed someone and I wasn't it." Simple answer for the reasoning behind her actions. "We're tense in a lot of ways and some of them I understand... some of them I'm completely lost on. We have got to get ourselves on the same page."

"Yeah, I agree." He shifted again, this time grabbing his coffee cup and draining the rest of the contents, putting it back down and then folding his arms across his chest, attempting to relax against the counter. "One topic at a time, I guess... so avoiding the elephant in the room for now, Misha sort of made me realize where some of my frustration is stemming from and I think if we address this, it'll help a lot, even if the other part doesn't get sorted out."

She shifted to rub at a spot on the table with one finger before putting her hand back in her lap. "And what is it coming from then?"

This was a tender subject and he damn well knew it. Misha had done his best to tell him how he shouldn't handle it, admitting to a rather epic explosion on his and Vikki's part when he'd spoken the words in all the wrong ways. And he'd even consulted Vikki for him, asking what way that should have gone down and relaying what she'd said. He thought back on the conversation and then slowly admitted, "I know this is on me as well, so don't get me wrong. I'm not laying blame or anything else. I just need to be honest because that's how we've lived our relationship up until now and I don't see that that should change." He paused for a moment and then took in a deep breath. Releasing it, he launched in, praying for it to all go okay. "The first few days when Thomas came home were magical. We all would sit and sort of relax together. We played equal rolls in who got up out of bed to tend to him, either both of us doing it or exchanging who did each time. We both cleaned him up and held him and everything. And then, slowly, things have sort of... changed."

His eyes met Gen's and he found nothing but a patient woman waiting on him to finish. No anger or anything else for the time being. Relieved, he plunged on. "You've taken over more and more of it and I know you're probably trying to help me because I still have to get to work. I appreciate it... I do. But I also feel like I'm spending less and less time actually tending to Thomas and that makes me sad and a little frustrated. Which... sort of leads me to the other topic." He paused, waiting to see if she had anything to say, but she simply nodded at him to go on.

"We've talked about how I feel about even talking about these things in front of him already... you know where I stand on that, so I won't shove it out there again. And this is where the blame lays squarely with me. The more worked up I am and the less time I have to do anything about it, the less and less time I'm spending with Thomas or you, simply because you're both usually together. So I'm doubling the issue all by myself because whenever I'm," he stopped, watching her for a moment and remembering how she'd said he'd never been shy about things until now and how he was acting like a teenager. Starting again, he squared his shoulders and just spit it out, "Whenever I get a hard-on I panic and end up vacating whatever room I'm in. And because I'm not getting off, that's happening more and more... horrible cycle of events here."

Finally, Gen chose to speak up again. "So then the solution seems obvious... though not if you don't like the idea of it. But, what if you tell me when you're going to do something so I don't keep accidentally interrupting you. Then you've had your 'you time' and that part is taken care of. On the other front, I will attempt to give you back part of the responsibility, we just need to sort out how much and when that way when you _do_ need to sleep through the night, you can. Do you think you can manage to tell me?"

Jared debated it for a moment and then gave a little nod. "I'll feel like an idiot, but yeah... it's better than not... or doing it at work."

"Good. And I'm going to be honest here. I promised we'd try to have sex, but I'm just so worn out all the time and... frankly, my interest in it is completely tanked. I don't even do anything myself." She frowned a little and then shook her head. "It's not fair to you and I'm fully aware of that-"

"Don't..." Jared pleaded quietly, "it isn't the end all, be all. I know it's what caused this argument to start with, but the truth is, I expected that. I've known enough people who have been fathers to know that you'd be completely exhausted and that having such an abrupt hormone change would have some effect on you. I'm not asking for that back right now for a reason. I just... I need at least time with myself. Your hormones changed, but mine didn't. As long as we're okay on the front of me actually getting time to myself to take care of it, then we'll be fine."

Gen gave a small nod and then sighed. "I'm really, truly sorry. I want to give you what you need, I really do." Her eyes pleaded with him to understand and he finally pushed away from the counter to come over to her and pull her into a hug, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

"I know..." he stroked over her back a few times before she let go and he backed up, sinking back against the counter.

"You're not done... what is it?" Her eyes flicked over the spot he'd retreated to and then back up to his face, concern written there.

"I need to confess something to you... and I beg you to please understand that I'm telling you because you're my wife and I think it's something you should probably know about your husband." He made a small face, realizing that probably sounded like the beginning of a cheating confession. He hurried it along, not wanting to let her start guessing into things and be wrong. "Misha got me talking and I confessed a few things to him about where my dreams and fantasies have been going lately..." he huffed out a sigh, reaching to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Part of why I freaked out was because I was uncomfortable with the dream I'd woken up from... and then I let my imagination get out of control while I was tending to myself-"

"Jerking off... for the love of God, Jared... you used to say jerking off. Now you say things that make me think you're a garden. Just fucking say it."

He choked a little and barely swallowed the laugh that wanted to bubble up. She was right, he was always skirting it now and it seemed... stupid, now that she pointed it out so bluntly. "Okay, so, I was jerking off and _fantasizing_ ," he stressed the word, proving he wasn't resorting to skirting around that either, "and what I was thinking about just sort of threw me when I got caught." 

A few moments of uncomfortable silence stretched out before them until Jared finally broke it in the bluntest way he possibly could. "I dreamed about - and was fantasizing about - a man... fucking me."

As if on cue, Thomas started to cry in the other room, the thin wail of a baby pitching through the house. But Gen didn't move. Rather, she sat there, staring up at him for a few moments. At long last, she pushed herself up and held up a finger, "Just press the pause button. I will be back." She exited the room, leaving Jared standing there, feeling more vulnerable than ever before. 

It took her nearly ten minutes before she came back into the room, still sans Thomas, though she went right to the sink and washed up her hands. "He's not going to be patient for long, so..." she shrugged, implying all she needed to with the comment.

"Right, so... it's... not new." Jared shifted uncomfortably, fidgeting with the loose piece of facing on the counter again. "Even when I was a teenager, I used to think about it." He shrugged a little. "I just sort of pushed it away once I slept with a girl and never really thought too hard about it. But you sort of introduced me to how good it felt," his could have sworn his cheeks were probably the color of a lobster, but one glance at himself in the window across from where he stood and he realized he looked surprisingly calm. Clearing his throat, he continued, "how good it felt to have something inside me. And then you didn't do it again... so I sort of... bought something."

She stood in front of him, an amused look on her lips. "I stuck my finger up your ass and now you have a dildo?"

"Vibrator," he barely got out, feeling like he wanted to run shrieking from the room, but staying perfectly still instead.

"I see. Mmm... how did this escape my attention?"

"I don't know. I mean... it’s not like I'd use it when I thought you'd find me, but... it was in the drawer with my porn."

"Was?" she asked, instantly picking up on the past-tense and definitely not liking it.

"Er... well... I sort of... moved everything."

"To?"

He shifted uncomfortably and crossed his arms tight over his chest again. "Work. In a locked cabinet."

She looked honestly confused. "Why?"

"So Thomas wouldn't find them."

"Oh my fucking God, Jared... you are the most paranoid father on the planet. He's a baby! What's he gonna do? Hell, he can't even _get_ to the drawer it was all in." She shook her head. "There's paranoid and then... there's you."

He breathed out a sigh and closed his eyes. "I needed to move it and besides, it's no more paranoid than you moving all your makeup and shit because he might get into it. He can't reach that counter any more than he can reach the drawer." He peered at her and then pursed his lips. "New parent syndrome is what Misha calls it. We both have it."

She blinked at him for a moment and then nodded. "Okay... fine. But... I assume you had a larger point to make than admitting a few fantasies and the fact that you have a vibrator."

Jared shifted again and then shoved his hands deep in his pockets, really unsure about actually saying this part, but knowing he had to. It was only fair to her that she know. It took him a few tries, but finally, he muttered out, "I'm not straight."

Gen shrugged. "And?"

"And nothing... I just feel like you should know. I mean... it's not like I realized it either, but-"

"What?" She let out a laugh. "Please. Seriously? How... what?"

He gave her an honestly confused look, a small amount of hurt in his eyes. "I confess like the biggest confession of my life to you and you laugh?"

She held up her hand and shook her head. "You're taking it wrong. Back up." She backed up to give him space, sitting down on the chair again. "I'm just confused how you didn't realize it. Jared, your entire fan base has expressed that they think you are since... well, forever. Jensen's ribbed you about it for years, and I mean, fuck... Misha _is_ bi. Taking one look at him, how did you not reconcile yourself with this before now?"

"I just wasn't focused on it... why did I need to be?" Jared looked past her at the window, watching the tree leaves flutter in the wind. "I had no reason to. My mind wasn't supplying me with dreams or fantasies about it... and even if I just vaguely wandered past it in my mind... don't all men have some sort of small curiosity about how it'd feel? I didn't think it was strange."

"It's not strange. _You_ are not strange." She sighed, "Okay, so the incessant collecting of matchbooks is strange. But your sexuality isn't."

Gnawing on his lower lip for a moment, he finally let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and moved to put his hand on the counter again. "Fine... in any case, I just didn't have the need to think about it until both my dreams and fantasies forced it on me in the same day and... even then, it took Misha gently redirecting me to look around and take notice." He reached to rub his palm over his hip as a way to scratch it before putting it back on the countertop. "We talked about it... for quite a while. I'm still getting used to it... the whole idea of it... but talking with him really helps."

"Good. I'm glad you have someone you can confide in." She offered him a sincere smile, and then, "I'm going to offer this once. And I don't want an answer right now, period. No kneejerk 'oh my God' responses, okay? Promise?"

He nodded. "Promise."

"No rejecting or accepting it right now. I'm just throwing it out there."

"Okay."

She stood up then and moved over to him, gently hooking her fingers into his belt loops and leaning up to press a light kiss to his lips. Once she lowered herself back down again, she smiled up at him. "If you ever actually want to experience another man, then I'm perfectly open to the idea of it. I've talked enough with Vikki since I met her to understand hers and Misha's relationship. They have a beautiful thing and I think if it were approached in the same manner... it could be just as gorgeous, even if you just wanted a night to experience it."

Jared found himself both excited and horrified by the prospect of what she was offering. His initial reaction was to tell her he'd never and that she was completely nuts for even offering such a thing. But the moment she brought Misha into it, he realized there was no way in hell he could call it nuts anymore. Misha was one of the most amazing people he'd ever had the pleasure to meet and his and Vikki's relationship was like steel it was so strong. It slowly dawned on him why she had told him not to respond and actually forbidden him from it. It meant he couldn't turn down something he'd regret turning down later... and conversely he couldn’t accept something he'd think was a horrid idea in fifteen minutes. No comments... no regrets.

Thomas' soft sounds started coming from the bedroom again and she pulled back from him, smiling still. "Just think on it... and if one day you ever have an answer for me, then... I'm here. If you don't, then that's fine, too." With that, she was walking out of the room, leaving Jared staring after her, his hand gripping the countertop like it was a lifeline and his gaze following her behind, which was certain she was intentionally swaying as she walked out of the room. This was, in no uncertain terms, confusing.


	4. Chapter 4

Nearly two weeks had passed since Jared and Gen had actually sat down and conversed with one another. She had been true to her word about leaving him be when he needed alone time and he'd moved his porn and other belongings back into the drawer of his nightstand rather than leaving it at work in the locked cabinet. His own nerves forced him into getting a baby-proof lock for the drawer so it couldn't be opened except by an adult. But once that was done, he felt a lot better about it and sort of relaxed a bit.

Currently, he lay stretched out over the bed, one leg propped up, the other splayed out. He had one hand curled down under his backside, slowly easing the vibrator in and out of his ass as he stroked over his cock with his other hand. Every once in a while, his hips would push up and he'd have to bite back a moan. He'd turned on the music so he couldn’t be heard and he wouldn't end up hearing Thomas' crying and panic or something, and so far Gen had taken that as a signal as to if he was done or not. If it was on, he was not. If it was off, she was welcome to come back into the room, since sometimes he just curled up and went to sleep right after - doing it right before bed.

He shifted positions slightly and concentrated on teasing his asshole with the vibe, turning it up a notch and breathing out a quiet moan as he finally found what he'd been looking for with it. His other hand moved to his nipple, plucking lightly at it, his dick twitching as he brushed past his prostate again with the toy. Lately, he'd been indulging in it even more, finally admitting it wasn't just a little kink, but more of something he _needed_ while he was getting himself off. It just felt so much better when he did and now he was willing to admit that, one hundred percent. 

A few more thrusts and he closed his eyes, pushing his hips up as he really started to go after himself with it, panting as he thrust it in and out of his body. "Fuck," he breathed out. He was so turned on, he was trembling slightly, but he wasn't ready to end it all just yet. He'd been quick about it a lot recently and he wanted to take his time and fuck himself proper. Pleasure burned inside him as he eased the toy almost all the way out and then thrust it back in quickly, making a few short thrusts with it before forcing out another moan.

"You're beautiful like this."

The words forced a strangled cry from him as he fumbled around, pulling out the vibrator and trying to yank on the comforter to cover himself with, but it wasn't pulling up. But a second later, he realized this wasn't the first time Gen had ever caught him... though it was the first with the vibrator up his ass. He double-checked to make sure she was alone and then sort of deflated on the bed. "Christ... you scared me."

She pushed away from the door and then walked over to the bed, sinking down onto the covers beside him on her knees. "Do you want to take me?"

He stared at her for all of a millisecond before he breathed out, "Fuck yes I do," and reached for her. But she gently batted his hands away and stood up, pulling her top off and then pushing her pants to the floor. Sliding back onto the bed, she straddled him and then sank down onto his cock with a soft sound. "Make it fast, baby."

That... was not going to be a problem. It had been so long since he'd felt her around him that he was nearly instantly in a frenzy. His hands settled on her hips, helping her to move with him as he braced his feet on the bed and started to thrust. " _Fuck_ ," he hissed out, slamming up into her again and again, his entire being on fire with the pleasure of finally being able to have her again. Somewhere in the next few seconds, he sort of realized there was no condom involved and his heart sank. He'd have to make sure he wasn't anywhere near cumming. Granted, she had birth control, but he didn't know how the pregnancy would have affected her... and how long it took after she'd gone back on it again after the baby for it to work.

His hips worked a bit slower against her body, little moans and whimpers bubbling up from him as he moved his hand down to start pleasuring her. But she gently pushed his hand away, murmuring something about it being too sensitive. Frustration started to well up inside him and he didn't know how to kill it, though he was more than a little frustrated that it was there at all. Giving in, he just closed his eyes and rutted up against her until he was on the verge of his orgasm and then pulled out, shifting her back a bit and grabbing his cock, jacking it off furiously for a few seconds until he was cumming. It spurted out over his skin, splattering him with the warmth of it, and he couldn't help but think on what he'd been thinking about before she'd interrupted his session, wondering how it would feel to have another man cum on him instead.

Shame was quick to follow the thoughts and he shivered, gently turning them over, sliding down her body, intent to go down on her so she'd get off as well. But her hand stopped him yet again and she shook her head, gesturing toward the door. "Misha's waiting to pick you up today... I asked him to watch Thomas while we did it real fast. But there's not enough time."

Jared backed up, looking completely disappointed, but he nodded a little. "Yeah... okay." He slid off the bed and winced. "Tell Misha I'll be out in like... ten at the most. I need to get cleaned up." He picked up the vibrator and then re-capped the lube, putting it into the drawer before he made his way into the bathroom.

He washed up the vibe and took the batteries out, putting it aside to dry as he turned on the shower and stepped in the instant it was hot enough. He did a quick - but thorough - rinse job and then dried off and added deodorant and a tiny bit of cologne. Picking up his vibe, he went back to the bedroom and put it away, the batteries going beside it for the time being.

Quickly, he got dressed, picking out a rather worn - but attractive - t-shirt and then putting on his boxer briefs and a pair of jeans. Loafers again since they'd just have him change on set, and he was done. He grabbed his stuff by the door and then came out into the living room, shocked to find Misha, West, a very pregnant Vikki, and his own wife and child all gathered in the room. Misha stood up the moment he appeared and skirted around the others. "Okay, off we go. You ladies and gents have a good day." 

Jared gave a little wave and then led Misha out of the house, making sure they locked the lower lock on the door before closing it and heading toward Misha's car. They both piled in and Misha got them out of the driveway and on their way toward the set before either of them spoke. When the silence was broken, it was Misha, his quiet question more than obvious as to what he meant despite not being specific. "So?"

Jared let out a quiet grunt and then sighed. "Thank you for the effort. Greatly appreciated, but... not what I needed, I guess."

"Why not?" It seemed that since he'd confided in the other, there were no longer any boundaries between them anymore. All things were on the plate and he was more than willing to just spill whatever was bothering him to Misha in an instant. 

"No condom, not sure if the pill kicked back in yet... so I couldn't... yeah." He sighed and shook his head, sort of folding up in the seat. "Aside from that she sort of caught me in a compromising position _and_ wouldn't let me get her off. Overall, not a ten out of ten experience."

Misha shook his head. "You know you got it bad when even the sex you want so horribly goes awry." He turned on his blinker and slowed for a turn, accelerating just after. "So... know that I'm not snooping around in your life behind your back, but Gen talks to Vikki... and Vikki talks to me." He tossed a look at Jared and winced. "So I know what she offered you. And I know you haven't answered."

Jared sort of gaped at Misha for a moment and then groaned. "Christ... why did she tell Vikki that?" 

"Ask her that, not me. But... if I had to fathom a guess, I'd say it's because Vikki knows what it's like to field a man who is very much in the same position as you are sexually... and she's dealt with it in a unique manner that's sort of well-known." He shrugged a bit. "Just a guess."

"Yeah... makes sense," Jared returned quietly, wetting his lips and then leaning back, his hands sort of fidgeting a bit in his lap. "I don't even know what to say, honestly. I guess part of me is afraid to even consider her offer as a reality. Like what if it was a test and not a real offer? What if I like it...?" He frowned, turning his head to gaze out the window.

"So what if you like it? That's what you're supposed to do with sex, right?" Misha released a quiet laugh. "You're over thinking it. She meant it or she wouldn't have told Vikki... or she would have told her it was a test. It's like us, when we share things, we don't fuck around with the semantics of it, just the nature of the creature, right? So... women do it, too. She's not an evil genius waiting to spring a trap. She's a concerned wife, who - from your own words - has expressed disinterest in sex for now, and is trying out ways to get you to calm the fuck down because you have been strung up tighter than the high-wire at the circus."

Jared released a small puff of breath, allowing a tiny smile to play over his lips at the analogy. Okay, so Misha had a certain way about words sometimes and in this case it was more to point out the error of his ways than anything. "Okay... so assuming that she's not leading me around to fuck up and assuming I do engage in relations with a man... then what?"

"Engage in relations? Who are you talking to? I'm not a biology teacher." Misha reached over and lightly swatted his thigh. "Unwad your underpants, man. Sex. Fuck. Slip the worm into the bucket. Whatever. Just don't talk to me about... _engaging_ in relations. Sounds like a spaceship."

Jared let out a choked laugh and then just leaned back and let the actual one free, feeling a hell of a lot better for it after a few seconds. "Shit... what the hell?"

"Mmm... it worked, didn't it?" He received a cocky grin from the older man.

"Yeah... yeah it did."

"Okay, _now_ answer your own question. What happens after you have fucked a guy and you liked it?" Another smirk at the obvious double purpose of the words.

"So... I liked it. I know for sure that I'm not just deluding myself-"

"Which, for the record, I don't think that's possible, but... obviously you have a legitimate fear about that, so it's something to be worried about."

"... and I'd want to do it again. I guess."

Misha lifted a shoulder to shrug. "So if you find someone you want to _engage_ with," he snorted a bit at the word, "and keep it between them, you, and Gen, then who cares if you want to do it again multiple times? If she's okay with it and you're okay with it, and so is the dude you pick to reap your garden, then... what's the issue?"

"You make it sound so simple..." Jared pursed his lips and stared down at his lap. He'd just gotten off, but the talk of being with another man had him already verging on excited again. He wasn't hard yet, but he could feel the slow burn of arousal in his system. 

Misha didn't respond and Jared realized he didn't really need to. The point was made either way. Jared was making it difficult, but it didn't have to be. His thoughts drifted over the dream with Jensen and he considered it for a few moments and then winced, realizing that in the hard light of day, while Jensen was an attractive man and could have gotten Jared's engines going, there were a million other difficulties there. The fact that Jensen wasn't into men, his wife... so many things. And that was just the start of it. Besides the fact that he nearly felt like the other was his brother from another mother and that got awkward real quick.

He closed his eyes and considered other men he found attractive and that he trusted, only a handful of names even coming up. And right at the top of that list... was the man seated right next to him. He squirmed around in his seat just a little and then opened his eyes, adjusting his posture and yanking a bit at the seatbelt, suddenly feeling really conscious of everything he was doing around Misha... and how much he knew.

He'd spilled his innermost secrets to this man without a single thought as to if he was crazy for doing it or not. He'd trusted him with things he couldn't even trust Jensen with... and things he hadn't told his wife until after Misha. And he found him to be attractive in both personality and physicality. His heart thumped faster in his chest and the burning force of his arousal began to grow.

Swallowing thickly, he rubbed lightly at his thigh where Misha had just touched him, lost in thoughts of how it would feel. Would Misha be a forceful lover or a gentle one? Would he want to take him from behind or while looking right at him? Hell... would he even want him? All of the questions quickly grew even more overwhelming than the idea of doing it with some random person had been and the next breath he let out came out with a slew of words attached that he wasn't entirely sure he'd meant to push out at all. "I know this seems like it's a jump... or maybe stupid. I don't know, but I've considered people I trust... people I'm attracted to... and uh," his fingers grabbed hold of his jeans harshly for a second and then released, "it's you." He shot a nervous glance at Misha as they pulled into the other's parking spot beside his trailer.

Misha turned off the car and took off his seatbelt, calmly studying the other and then offering him a smile. "I was wondering how long it would take you to get to that point." He wet his lips and then reached to lightly touch Jared's hand. "I need you to consider this for longer than a few minutes, okay? Rushing is not a good thing for you in this situation and I'm going to be adamant about that for a number of reasons. Are you actually attracted to me?"

"Yes, or I wouldn't have said it."

"I don't have to ask about trusting me, that part is obvious with what you've been telling me the whole time." Misha let go of his arm and gestured at the trailer. "Let's talk in there... this draws more questions than that."

The pair made their way to the trailer and inside, Misha closing the door and then doing a quick check to make sure staff wasn't inside before he settled on the large couch he kept rather than recliners like Jared had. "My only fear on this is that you're leaping before you've looked. I have no reservations beyond that one. I find you to be an attractive and genuinely good-hearted guy. I think we'd be compatible in all the necessary ways and I can't honestly say I haven't thought of it long before you ever admitted a thing to me. But I don't want to be your 'just because'. I'll be your fuck, your one-off... hell I'll be the one you call desperately at two am, sleep-deprived and so hard you feel like you're dying. But I will not be 'the only choice' or the 'because you're the only bisexual person I know'. If we can be assured that's not the reason... then yes. Whatever the question in regards to this... yes."

Jared had settled on the couch during Misha's lengthy speech and once he was done, he just gave a small nod. "I made a list... I started off with Jensen because I dreamed about him. But that's awkward because I basically consider him my non-biological brother." He made a face. "So that's a no. My brain just did fucked up things there while I was asleep, that's all. So I went from there and there's quite a few people on the list I made, a few that I know are gay... and interested in me, but they didn't top the list." He shook his head. "Fact of the matter is... I trusted you without hesitation. I've never stopped to think 'gee, why am I telling Misha this shit' I just did it. I honestly do find you attractive in a number of ways and even just thinking about it... well," he gestured at his pants, arching his hips a little to prove the point with his partly hard cock. "That happened, so I'm pretty sure that equals 'yes please' unless I'm sadly mistaken."

Misha took his time viewing everything Jared chose to show him, not looking back up at his face until he felt like it. He smirked at the other and then offered quietly, "Once you've told Gen - and that is a requirement - and I've spoken with Vikki again," he paused at the look from Jared, "yes, again... it's not the first time I've expressed my interest in you." Once Jared stopped looking shocked, he continued, "Once we've both spoke to our partners, as long as their seal of approval is still good... then I say it's a test run first. No full on fucking the first time. Work up to it if you're still interested after that."

"Okay, that sounds fair enough," Jared returned quietly. After a moment, he rubbed his hands over his thighs. "Can I ask you something else? About Vikki?"

"Go for it."

"How long did it take her to be interested in sex again after West? I mean... yeah, Gen and I went at it today, but... it was sort of obvious it was for me and not because she truly wanted it. I feel... bad about that." He made a little face and then winced, staring at the carpeting, finding it was different than in his own trailer. Some part of him wasn't sure why he'd bring up Gen right after talking about having sex with Misha, but he supposed at least it proved that he wasn't going to just change everything out of the blue after his decision.

"About five months. And she did the same thing. It's not built from any sort of feeling of having to I don't think... the way I see it, they feel bad about not wanting it and want to make you happy because they care about you. Every once in a while, even though I could have gone and found someone else to satisfy those needs if I'd wanted to, Vikki would come to me in the same way. And then one day, it was like a switch was flipped back on. She came after me like she was desperate for it and we went at it until I couldn't anymore. Since she's been pregnant it's been tapering off again." He shrugged. "And I'm aware the process will repeat itself... and so is she. Honestly, I'm not entirely convinced our ladies aren't plotting out a way to help us both. But I'm not going to let that affect how _we're_ looking at things."

Jared nodded a little and then shifted back on the couch, lifting his arms over his head. "Yeah well... it is partly their decision in the end... but the main part should be us and if we think we're compatible, right?"

"You've got the idea." Misha pulled out two bottles of sparkling water, passing one to Jared before settling again. "Like I said, think on it a bit and then let me know if you still want me to talk to Vikki and you to talk to Gen."

Jared popped open the water and nodded. "Yeah... will do."


	5. Chapter 5

Jared sat on the edge of his bed, Gen asleep on the other side and Thomas out like a light in the crib at the foot of the bed. Jared had already taken his shower and gotten dressed for the day and he'd even laid out breakfast for both him and Gen so that he could talk to her before he left. Being busy was really putting a cramp in things, but hell, that's what it was like when they were shooting and they both knew it.

He reached over, gently shaking her. "Hey... get up for me?" His voice was quiet as he tried for the second time. The first time, he'd gotten lightly swatted, this time he got a grunt and she slid one eyelid open to peer at him. "I made breakfast... please? It's important."

She waved him off and then rolled over, slipping out of bed and trudging off toward the bathroom. He followed her just long enough to lightly touch her arm and ask her not to wake Thomas up. With that, he made his way back into the kitchen and settled down, starting to eat the oatmeal he'd set out, stirring the lump of brown sugar into it, watching the dark substance mix in with the lighter of the oats.

He only looked up when Gen plopped down on the chair across from him, her spoon clinking as she started to stir around her own mixture. He watched her for a few seconds before he heaved out a sigh and then, "So... the thing you told me to think about?"

She perked up almost instantly, her eyes on him as she leaned toward him, forearms bracing on the table. "Did you decide?"

He cleared his throat, tapping his spoon into the middle of the gooey mess that was breakfast. "Yeah..." his hands were shaking as he let go of his spoon and moved them to rub over his jeans. He wanted to retreat to that corner of the counter like nothing else, but he knew this wasn't something he needed to be over there for. He needed to focus on her and how she felt just as much as himself.

Her eyes flicked down to his trembling hands for a moment and then back up to his face. When she spoke it was eager, though gentle. "Who is it?"

His gaze flicked up to her, his brows furrowing a bit. "What makes you know I decided that way and not the other?"

"I'm not blind... and neither are you." Gen spooned another bite of the oatmeal into her mouth before pushing the bowl back and swallowing. "Simply put, your hands are shaking and you look like you're about to vomit out of sheer nerves. You didn't even look like this when you asked me to marry you." She quirked a smile at him. "The only answer that would have you that worked up is that you've decided you do want to try being with a man, you know who it is and you're about to ask me," she paused for a moment, "and that you're terrified I didn't mean what I said." Folding her hands in front of her on the table, she looked him right in the eyes. "I meant what I said and I'm still encouraging you to try this."

Jared's fingers grabbed at the material of his pants for a moment before he released it and placed his hands back on the table. "Misha." He knew it wasn't the most forthcoming statement in the world, but she could draw her own lines from there.

For a moment, she looked a little shocked and then full-on grinned at him. "That's great!" Getting up, she came around the table and pushed his chair back, settling on his lap, one arm looped around his shoulders. "I'm completely on board with that. I have nothing to fear from him or the way he and Vikki do things and-" she paused and gave him a stern look, "you're not just choosing him because he's safe are you? I want you to be happy with who you choose. Satisfied. And... don't use Misha like that if that's why."

Jared groaned, his head tilting back. "Christ... everyone thinks I'm going after him because he's a safety zone. I'm not." He shifted back to look at her and then reached up to cup her cheek, kissing her gently before backing off again. "I am honestly attracted to him... the idea of letting him have a go at me is..." he could already feel his body perking up at the idea and he snorted, shifting his hips a bit, "I'll let my dick speak for itself on that one."

Gen breathed out a laugh and then reached to gently stroke over his hair. "Good. I mean... he _is_ the safe choice, but I just... it wouldn't be fair if that was the only reason."

"I've made my choice and... he knows as well. If you're okay with it and Vikki's okay with it, then... we're golden. Otherwise, back to the drawing board." He gave a little shrug. "But this should speak volumes... anyone else would be a second choice."

Her lips met his forehead for a moment before she slid off his lap. "Okay. I'm completely on board with this. I am hoping for details though... a bit shameless in that department. So don't hold out on me about how it is... you know, assuming Vikki says yes."

Jared laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, there's the girl I married." He ran his hand down her arm and then lightly squeezed her hand before going back to his oatmeal, pushing the rest into his mouth quickly and then standing up, going to wash out the bowl and put it in the dishwasher. Once he was done, he dried his hands and then came around to give her a light hug. "Hug Thomas for me when he's awake, the shoot goes until after dark tonight. Two scenes to do before the moon changes too much."

"Yup, I know." She smiled and gave him a little wave. "Let me know what Vikki says?"

"Will do." And with that, he was out the door and off toward work.

\--

Hours later, Jared sat across from Misha at the small diner they'd all been frequenting when they forgot to pack their own lunches or catering was honestly terrible. Today, catering smelled funny and Jared had avoided it for the simple fact that he wanted to find some reason to be semi-alone with Misha without having to drag the other into one trailer or the other, because he was certain that'd get noticed real fast.

They'd already consumed their meal - club sandwiches and chips - and they were now working on the after-meal coffee. For what seemed the hundredth time, Jared looked up at Misha, catching the other's eyes and then looking away after a few seconds.

Finally, Misha released a quiet laugh. "You talked to her already, didn't you?"

"Yeah... and she's just fine with it."

Misha's cup landed on the table with a quiet _thunk_ and the older man leaned toward him, a sparkle in his eyes as he studied him. "Good... Vikki gave her blessing the first day we talked." He shot a smirk across the table. "Yeah, I asked her then... couldn't get it off my mind. Does that tell you anything?" His voice dipped toward the end, dripping with something Jared hadn't actually had directed at him before and he found that it had a thrill sliding along his veins as he studied the other.

"It does," Jared returned quietly, a small smile on his lips. "And that makes me pleased."

Misha pulled out his phone and quickly typed out a text, sending it off. A few seconds passed and then Jared's phone buzzed. He gave him an odd look, but pulled it out of his pocket, finding that the message was from Vikki. Opening it, he nearly choked, pushing his fist against his mouth and trying really hard not to look as foolish as he felt.

_Pro-tip: Have Misha suck your cock. He's gotten tons of compliments from past lovers and frankly, he bitches about missing it when he doesn't have anyone to do it to._

He swallowed and then typed back a message really quickly. _I don't think I have any complaints about having that happen... very few men would._ He sent it off and then picked out Gen's contact from his list of texts. _Vikki and Misha are a go... and Vikki is apparently providing me with tips._

Setting his phone down, he shot Misha a quick look and then muttered out, "Vikki seems eager for you to do this."

Misha laughed and leaned forward, casting glance to the side before returning, "Yeah, well, I bitch enough about it when it's been a while... and it's been _years_."

Jared's eyes flicked up to meet Misha's, pinning him with the most desire-filled gaze he could manage. "Then don't hold back with me." Arousal surged through him, streaking through his body and lighting up his nerve endings. "I want you... all of you."

Someone cleared their throat next to him and Jared nearly jumped out of his skin, his hand nearly knocking over his own coffee cup, though Misha's hand shot out and neatly grabbed it, settling it back on the table top as if this were nothing out of the norm for him. Jensen looked between the pair of them and then plopped down next to Misha since he was the one who moved over for him. "Those burritos looked a bit scary... thought I'd come have some lunch." He shot Jared a confused look. "Did not expect to walk in on that conversation though."

Jared almost wanted to groan and shove his face into his hands. But he didn't know how he was supposed to be reacting to this. Misha looked utterly calm about it though, just watching Jared and waiting. For a moment, Jared's mouth worked but no sound came out and he gave the older man a desperate look, receiving a small shrug in response and a carefully worded, "Up to you," before he took a sip from his coffee, flagging the waitress and holding up one finger, then three, then pointing to Jensen, and then back to his cup and then one finger and to Jensen again. He got a nod and she darted off. "Ordered you a number three and a coffee."

"Yeah... thanks, man." Jensen was still watching Jared intently. "Are you okay?"

It took a few moments for Jared's mind to play catch-up and once he did, he sat up a bit straighter and looked right back at Jensen. "Maybe not, but that's nothing new." He slid his fingers over the tabletop and then, "What did you hear?"

"That... you want Misha?" Jensen offered quietly, making sure to keep his voice low enough not to be heard by other tables. "Or... maybe that Sam wants Cas?" He looked even more confused about that and just maybe a little bitter. "I sincerely hope it wasn't that one." Confirmation.

Jared breathed out a laugh and sat back. "Let me get this straight. You're worked up over it maybe being Sam and Cas, but not about it being me and Misha?"

Jensen pinned him with a stern look. "Yeah, that's the general idea. I mean, that's a real dick move from the writers if that's what that was about. Both to us as actors and to the fans. Real unfair."

"It's not Sam and Cas," Jared offered, shaking his head. "But you make me wonder sometimes... you try to stop talking about Dean and Cas hooking up in panels and then... you're rooting for them?"

Jensen's eyes flashed with something that could have maybe been described as anger. "I've always been on that side. I've played it up with Misha the whole time, right?" He glanced at the other man, receiving a nod of confirmation. "I just get uncomfortable discussing my character's sex life at every damn convention. For one, I can't give anything away even _if_ we did have something to tell. And for two, I can't just play along and pretend like Misha can... everyone would take me seriously and then they'd be mad at me. So, fuck it, I gave up." He shrugged a little.

"I see." Jared shot Misha a look, arching his eyebrow a little and getting a smirk as his response. "Welp... not them we were talking about."

"Good."

And that simply appeared to be the end of it.


	6. Chapter 6

Jared's back hit the wall with a solid thump, the air whooshing from his lungs, his hands automatically coming up to grasp at Misha's biceps. Their mouths met, a hungry dance of two desperate men starting and ending within only a few seconds, the whole thing all teeth and tongues, saliva and five o'clock shadows. A few moments passed in which they simply stared at one another before Jared's hand moved to the other's shoulder and pressed downward. "Stop teasing me and do it."

Misha slowly slid down to his knees, but he kept staring up at him, a smirk on his lips. "Do what?"

All shame and embarrassment filtered away from Jared in that moment, his eyes dark with passion, his breathing laden with his desire. He was already hard and had been through most of the ride to Misha's home. Vikki had gone to hang out with Gen, taking West with her so that Misha and Jared had the house to themselves for the time being. Some part of Jared had expected that he'd end up in the guest bedroom with Misha, but here he was, against the wall of the Master bedroom, Misha on his knees before him. And God did it ever feel good. Even just the rough contact they'd had in the past ten minutes was setting him absolutely on fire. Everything from the door to the bedroom had been a fumbled navigation in the darkness, neither of them willing to fully stop the contact with one another as they moved through the house.

With a smirk, Jared recalled the pause in the front hallway that had involved a few popped buttons on Misha's shirt and their shoes and belts coming off. That first touch to his cock had been like fire and maybe at some point in his life he would have been embarrassed by the sounds he'd made as Misha's fingers groped over his length. But honestly, he couldn’t find it in him to be anything except pleased that they were finally doing this. 

His hand slid down into Misha's hair for a moment and then retreated, his fingers going about opening his pants and then hastily drawing the material of his boxer briefs down, revealing his aching length to the air of the room... and to Misha's hungry gaze. "Suck my dick," he finally returned in response to the earlier question.

In an instant, Misha's fingers were tugging at his pants, easing them down to mid-thigh. One hand cupped his balls and the other steadied the base of his cock. And then the warm, wet heat of Misha's mouth was sliding over him and it was all he could do not to shout his elation at this loud enough for the neighbors to hear. His fingers flexed against the wall behind him, his hips jutting forward as he watched Misha's mouth slide down over his cock and then pull back up, his tongue doing exquisite things the entire time. Vikki hadn't been wrong, he was talented as all fuck at giving head and Jared knew that even if anything else was a bust... this was something he wanted again and again. 

Faint images of dragging Misha off set and to the trailers for a quick blowjob surfaced in his mind and he let out a rather loud groan, his eyes focusing on what the other was actually doing once again. Misha was really going at him, his head bobbing and the hand at the base of his dick twisting with each movement of his head. Even the sound of it was a complete turn-on, the older man having no shame about how he sounded sucking Jared's cock. Gen tended to be really reserved about it when she did, seeming like she was really only doing it because he actively went down on her and enjoyed himself completely in doing it. But Misha... Misha wanted his dick as much as Jared wanted him on it like this.

The sound of Misha's zipper lowering snapped Jared out of the near trance that he'd fallen into and he watched as Misha's hand slid into his pants and started moving over his dick. Yes... he was definitely enjoying himself, that was for damn sure. "I want," he grunted as Misha took him in all the way, his hand resting against his hip for the moment, "your cock in my mouth." A shudder ripped through him as he let the words out. Licking his lips, he caught Misha's gaze and held it for a moment as the other gave him a few more good sucks and then backed off. 

"When you cum, I want it in my mouth." There was no hesitation in Misha's voice as he spoke the words, just the naked truth, open and waiting for Jared's approval.

Jared nodded, gesturing a little toward the bed, and Misha got himself up out of the floor, moving to the bed and settling down on the side of it, spreading his legs and waiting.

Jared eased himself to his knees in front of Misha, reaching up and moving his underwear out of the way, revealing his cock. One glance at him and he moaned, reaching out and wrapping his hand around the older man's cock. Stroking over him, he watched his foreskin slide up over the head of his dick and then back down to almost under the head as he touched him. Shivering a bit, he moved forward and leaned over him, one hand braced on the bed, the other still jacking him off as he flicked his tongue curiously over the tip. Just the smallest amount of pre-cum had gathered there and the instant Jared lapped it up, he was even more turned on. The taste of it was enjoyable and he found that he immediately wanted more. 

It didn't take him long before he had his mouth fully over the other's cock, saliva lubricating his way, and eagerness making up for anything he lacked in the skill department. After the third time he nearly gagged himself on it, Misha's hand came to rest gently in his hair. "Stay still for a moment..." once he was still, the tip of Misha's cock on his mouth still, the other slowly began to push him down on it, and then pull back up. A few times of it and then he held him in place, his hand tight in his hair as his hips pushed up from the bed, his cock fucking into Jared's mouth a few dozen times before he groaned and settled once again. "Do you like that? I like that...."

Jared let out a soft moan around his length, his hand sliding down to start stroking his own dick, his tongue flicking over the head of Misha's dick.

"I'll take that as a yes." Misha's fingers tightened in his hair, holding him in place, and then laid into it again, thrusting up into the younger man's mouth over and over. His whole body was working with it, hips bucking, muscles straining. He stopped nearly abruptly. "If I don't stop, I'm gonna lose it." He sank back down against the best, holding Jared still, effectively removing his cock from his mouth. "Not how I want to cum tonight... come up here."

Jared pushed himself up off the floor, his pants and underwear falling to around his ankles. With a shrug, he pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the floor as well.

Misha eased his own clothing off, sliding back on the bed and gesturing Jared after him.

Jared followed eagerly, his hands immediately moving to ghost over Misha's skin, touching places he had yet to as if he needed to do it just because it was there and new to him. When Misha's touch urged him over him, he moved to straddle his lap without question. He settled on Misha's lap, their lips meeting in another passionate kiss. This time, Misha's hands held Jared's hips in place as they kissed, his hips bucking up, his cock rubbing over Jared's own with each and every movement.

Just the knowledge that it was Misha's dick touching his own set Jared off. Hunching over Misha, his hips tilted and even through Misha's hold, he attempted to jerk his hips back against Misha's in a much more full-contact sort of manner. A few trembling seconds and finally Misha yanked him down fully against him, letting Jared basically rut against him as he grasped his ass harshly.

Rolling them over, Misha took back control of the situation, detaching from the kiss and moving back just long enough to pour some lubricant between them. He went right back to thrusting his cock against Jared's own a moment later, the pair of them grunting and moaning at the pleasure of it.

"Misha," Jared breathed out, his hands moving from the other's sides to his arms and then to the pillows by his head and finally to grab at the headboard behind him, his hips arching and his body trembling. "I'm... oh _fuck _!"__

__Instantly, Misha moved away from him, sinking down on the bed and wrapping his fingers around his cock. His tongue pressed against the tip as he started to jack him off and in the next moment, Jared was letting out the most strained of sounds and then a sharp cry, his hips jerking as he started to cum. Thick spurts of his release shot into Misha's waiting mouth, his hips working the entire time, Misha stroking him off as it happened._ _

__Eventually, Jared sort of deflated against the bed and Misha lightly sucked the tip of his dick before swallowing what he'd been given and moving back over him. "How do you want me to cum?" he asked softly, his fingers threading through Jared's hair as he spoke._ _

__"All over me..." Jared's hands came to rest on Misha's hips, tugging him down against him again. "Like this. Messy."_ _

__Misha's lips descended on his neck and collarbone, gently licking and sucking as he began to rock his hips against Jared's own. The younger's cock was still partly hard and he moved against it, glad to have the feel of another cock so close to his own after so many years without it._ _

__Before long, Misha had Jared's wrists pinned against the bed as he labored over him, the snap of his hips clearly simulating how he'd be taking him if he had allowed himself to do so this go. And he wanted it... he wanted to sink into Jared's body and have his way with him so bad it was incredibly obvious even from these actions._ _

__Jared pushed up against him, releasing another groan and then breathing out, "Give it to me... make a fucking mess all over me with your cum. Do it." The words set Misha off _hard_ and in the next moment, his hips were snapping forcefully, the first hot spurts of cum splattering out over Jared's abdomen. Misha shifted down just the slightest, letting loose the rest of his load all over Jared's cock and balls, completely drenching them in his own cum._ _

__Jared groaned as Misha's cum rained down over him. It was the second biggest thing he'd wanted to know about being with another man. His own cum was usually just a mild inconvenience and sometimes exciting if he was in a certain mood and wanted to rub it into his skin, smearing it around after he'd finished, usually if he was going for a two-off. But this... this was something else entirely. Feeling Misha's release come down over him was nothing short of amazing. The feeling of it sliding over his dick made him want to grab himself and aim for a second orgasm, his cock twitching in agreement as the other wiped the last bit off over the head of his dick._ _

__When Misha rolled off of him, Jared arched up from the bed a little and released a loud groan, giving in and reaching down to grab his dick. Heat swam through his body as he started to jack off, the slick sound of him using Misha's cum as lube sounding in the room._ _

__Misha rolled over, his hand sliding through the bit of a mess on his stomach, rubbing it around and making even more of a mess. "Are you going to add to the mess?" When he didn't get a response, he bit out, "I asked you a question, Padalecki."_ _

__Jared's hips jerked and he moaned at the tone of voice Misha was using with him. His heart beat rapidly in his chest as he eased out a quiet, "Yes," his head pressing against the pillows as he squirmed around a bit and then moved his hand even faster. "Shit!" His hips arched, his thighs straining hard. His balls were drawn up tight and the tip of his dick was already glistening with his own pre-cum. A few pumps of his hips and then, "Fuck, _Misha_!" came ripping from his throat as his cum spilled down his over his knuckles, dripping down onto his body, his hand still stiffly forcing movement, though he was mostly seized up._ _

__Misha's fingers slid over the tip, gathering up some of the mess and then combining it with a bit of his own off Jared's hip, bringing the offering to the younger's lips. "Take it and then share it with me." A devious little gleam shone in his eyes as he waited on Jared to comply. The moment Jared sucked it from his fingers, he moved over him, one hand braced on the headboard as he kissed him roughly, his tongue spearing in to taste what he'd give him as well._ _

__It took a few minutes before they separated again, Misha easing himself down next to him, trailing a finger over Jared's cock and causing a small whine, telling him the other was definitely sated for the time being. His arm draped over Jared's abdomen and he breathed out a soft, pleased sigh. "So?"_ _

__"You have to ask? After what I just did?" Jared huffed out a quiet laugh, stretching and then settling again. "Yeah, I definitely want this to happen again." He was silent for a second before tacking on, "And more. I want you to take me next time."_ _

__Misha pushed himself up off the bed and gestured Jared after him. "Shower before that dries." He flicked on the bathroom light and smirked at the other as he neared him. When he was sure he could fully see him, he offered a quiet, "I'm definitely _engaging_ you next time." With a snort, he tugged Jared into the bathroom and closed the door so the steam would stay in once they were in the shower. "I'll fuck you until you have no idea who you are or what your damn name is. Is that what you want?"_ _

__"Damn right it is." Not an ounce of hesitation lay in Jared's voice and even as they stumbled into the shower together, round three clearly ramping up, Jared found himself wondering how he'd let this escape him for so many years, but simultaneously thankful that it was Misha he found himself with._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/opinions/interest anyone?


	7. Chapter 7

The morning after with Misha hadn't been at all intimidating or awkward. To Jared, that was the true test of it all. If he didn't feel like he had to dart out the door as soon as he woke up, then he was in the green. Misha had played good host and he'd made them pancakes for breakfast, leaving a helping for West and Vikki on the counter and packing up a small serving for Gen before they'd gotten dressed. From there, Misha had driven Jared home and then walked him inside. He'd greeted Vikki with a kiss and West with a hug, offering a smile to Gen and then handing over the pancakes, which had lit her up unbelievably.

For a few minutes, everyone had sort of congregated in the kitchen until Vikki finally got West out the door to start getting him into his car seat. Gen had thankfully laid Thomas down earlier for his nap and that left the three adults in the kitchen for one somewhat awkward moment. But Misha had cut all the tension in a single smooth action, stepping in and pulling Jared into a tight embrace. Before he'd pulled away, he'd delivered on hell of a searing kiss, which Jared had eagerly returned, the idea of showing Gen even some part of what they had experienced leaving him excited and nearly breathless.

Even when Misha had departed, not long after, Jared had stood there, a dopey look on his face and one arm around his wife until she'd grown tired of waiting on the pancakes and went to sit down and eat them.

Now, they sat in the living room, Thomas across the room in his playpen, little hands groping toward the various toys that dangled over him to keep him interested. Jared sat beside his wife, his arm securely around her shoulders, large hand stroking over her partly exposed skin with a reassuring touch. "I love you," he issued quietly, giving her shoulder a quick squeeze before returning to lightly touching as he had been.

"You're affectionate today." She smiled up at him and reached to squeeze his thigh. "I love you, too, big guy." She patted his leg and then cleared her throat. "Remember, I asked for details. I mean... obviously, it went well, if that kiss was any indication. But, I want to know more."

Jared's gaze landed on Thomas, debating if he was distracted enough or not and then finally, he looked away from their child and back toward the woman he loved. "You honestly want to know? Like... actual details, not... joking."

"Of course I want actual details. You're like... God, Jared, you're a whole new man today. You're at ease, so much less stressed out than usual, and you're practically glowing. I've watched you smile at least twenty more times than usual just since you got home and," she reached up to tap his hand on her shoulder, "you're freely touching me again rather than just these fleeting things you were doing and then jerking away. Which, in my opinion, also means he did a hell of a job satisfying you."

Jared breathed out a quiet laugh as he nodded. "Yeah... he did. Man knows what he's doing, that's for damn sure." He tilted his head back and closed his eyes for a moment, letting the quick version of last night wash back over him for a few moments before he turned his head and looked back at Gen. Very, very quietly, he murmured, "We were all over each other... it's almost embarrassing how badly we both needed it." He leaned in closer, nipping lightly at her lower lip before he backed off again. "All hands and desperation. It was... different. Rough and quick." His eyelids closed again and a smirk slid over his lips, "The first time."

"What'd you do? Did he take you?" She asked, her voice equally as quiet, understanding that Jared was only speaking in front of Thomas like this because he was being quiet enough that he potentially couldn't be heard and she didn't want to ruin it.

"Not yet... next time. I think he didn't want that to be a part of my regrets if I had any. But, there's no way I'm regretting what happened between us." His eyelids fluttered open to find Gen watching him intently, interest burning in her eyes, the unspoken question for actual acts to be given sparkling in her eyes. "I came in his mouth," he offered, watching her face for any signs of discomfort or disgust. 

Instead, she looked pleased, a grin sliding across her face. "Did you return that favor?"

"I did." He wet his lips a little and then moved just a little bit closer to her, his hand brushing over her thigh and then settling on her hip. "And there was this round in the shower... I thought for sure we'd both break something with how damn urgent it was." His lips brushed over her earlobe as he breathed out, "I came three times last night... and the third time, I seriously thought I was going to pass out from how good it felt."

A blanket landed over his lap and then her fingertips were working at his belt and zipper. "Don't pull away from me... just be quiet and it'll be okay."

Jared pushed his face down against her neck and remained there, trying to keep his breathing steady as she freed him from the confines of his pants and began to stroke him into hardness. He was still surprisingly eager to go, his dick stiffening to her touch rapidly. His own hands remained steady on her, just holding her the way he had been the whole time, though his mouth moved over her neck and up to her earlobe, nipping and sucking along the path as she pleasured him.

Within minutes he was breathing heavily, his hips making eager little jumps toward her hand as she started to ramp him toward his end. He was nearly clinging to her now, his forehead pressed against her collarbone to hide his face away. The closer he got, the harder it became to actually keep himself silent or still. She pulled him so close and then he could tell her hand was tiring out since he wasn't as fast off as he usually was given how many rounds he'd had with Misha the night before. With a grunt, he shoved one hand down under the blanket, his hand closing over hers and helping her. 

His hips bucked and his body trembled and then, finally, blissfully, he was losing it. He breathed out a sigh of relief, his hand still slowly pumping hers over his dick for a few more seconds before he finally let go and settled back against the couch.

Gen extracted her hand and then moved to straddle him, grabbing the tissue box and plucking a wad out. With his view of Thomas blocked entirely, she carefully moved the blanket back and cleaned him up, tucking his dick back in and zipping him up. She folded the blanket and then slid from his lap, winking at him as she made her way to the laundry to toss it in.

A few minutes passed and then she was back, standing in front of him, an easy smile on her face. "Everything's perfect as far as I'm concerned. You?"

He returned her smile and reached up, grabbing the front of her shirt and tugging. "Not quite... come here." He tugged her down and kissed her hard before releasing her. The smile on his lips only grew. "Now it is."

As if sensing he was being let out, Thomas began to cry, and she pulled back from him. "Daddy needs to go wash up like Mommy did... and then I think it's time for Sesame Street." With that, she turned and made her way to the playpen, reaching in and picking up their son. "You and Daddy get to watch TV and lounge around while Mommy cleans up the house. How do you feel about that? Hmm?" A few gurgles later and both of them were laughing, Jared already making his way from the room to go and clean up as had been suggested.

In his eyes, this couldn't have turned out better. He only hoped Misha was having the same sort of time on his end.


	8. Chapter 8

They sat on the back porch steps, both of them glued at the hip for the time being. Jared was enjoying watching the snow fall just a few feet in front of them, but at the same time, he was sincerely enjoying Misha's warmth. Inside, he could hear Vikki, Gen, and Danneel all laughing in the kitchen. And further out in the yard, Jensen was wading around in the snow with West on his shoulders. Thomas was curled up in Jared's arms and Jared... well, he was unabashedly leaning against Misha, leaning into the older man's touch as his hand ran over his arm.

It had been a while since they'd had any time to themselves at all, though they regularly ate lunch at the same table or attempted to carpool instead of bringing in two cars. Now that Jensen knew about them, it wasn't really an issue to Jared to hide anything anymore. They couldn't be public about it, obviously, due to the nature of their jobs, but at least when they were all hanging out like this, there was no skirting around the issue.

Surprisingly, there hadn't been any really in depth questions. Mostly, it had been Danneel gesturing between the two of them and arching an eyebrow, to which Gen had fielded the question, coming out with an, "Oh yeah, definitely." And from there they'd only had a few curious looks, but nothing judging or affronting in any way. Jensen had handled it with ease once he'd known it wasn't anything threatening to certain in-character dynamics and beyond that, he'd just done what he'd always done with both of them to start with. A few easy-going jokes here and there, just the same ones he used when Jared had come in looking like he'd got some when he'd started dating Gen way back when. And a bit more outgoingly slap-happy jokes with Misha, getting his usual goading about him and Danneel looking like lovesick puppies in return.

Overall, nothing had really changed and that had surprised Jared the most. Somehow, he'd expected someone to judge him for his decisions and look down on him for the needs of both his body and his mind. But not one person had done so and that left him utterly at ease, settling into this somewhat new life easily. Vikki and Gen spent hours with one another: writing, shopping, tending to the kids, and even taking a few classes on the side just because they wanted to. All in all, it seemed to Jared like Gen had gained something bigger out of this as well, not just him. When he'd brought it up to Misha, the older man had told him that's how relationships worked and left it at that. Whether Gen or Vikki joined in in the bedroom or not did not change the fact that they were a part of the relationship. Both Misha and Jared kept up their usual routines with their wives and children, just with the added benefit of the pair of them being closer than ever.

Jared shifted a little, nudging Misha lightly and leaning in, catching the other's lips with his own once he was paying attention. Misha's fingers lightly flexed on his leg, his other hand rubbing lightly over his arm as they kissed one another. It wasn't something that Jared would have honestly thought would be an integral part of being with Misha, but he found he enjoyed it just as much as he did with Gen... and it was so completely different to be kissed by a man than a woman. Their kiss deepened, Misha shifting slightly for a better angle, their tongues slowly meeting one another. Jared let out a soft groan and in the next moment, a snowball smashed into the side of his head.

Jerking back, he hunched protectively over Thomas. "What the hey, man?!"

Jensen laughed, standing there with West on his shoulders, one hand on his hip, looking for all the world like he'd just won the lottery. "That... was so mushy even West thought so." He jerked a thumb up at the kid. "He threw it."

"Mmhmm, I'm sure he did," Misha returned easily, pushing himself upright and gathering Thomas from Jared's arms. He gestured for Jensen to put down West and once he had both kids rounded up, he disappeared through the kitchen door, leaving behind a, "Get him back for that one, Jared," the sliding door clicking shut behind him.

Jared gathered up a handful of snow and without bothering to compress it, tossed it at Jensen and rushed off across the yard after him. "Come back here, you yellow-bellied jerk!" he yelled, barreling after him.

\---

Hours later, Jensen and Danneel had disappeared back to their own place. Vikki and Gen were cleaning up the kitchen and packing away the remnants of their huge meal, both kids crashed out in the bedroom. Jared sat with Misha on the couch, both of them with a beer in hand, an easy silence between them.

It didn't take long before Misha finally made the advance, reaching to take Jared's bottle, putting both beers down on the coffee table before he leaned over Jared, engaging him in another kiss. For a few minutes, that's all it was, both of them eagerly tasting one another, their hands miraculously not involved. But slowly, it progressed, their hands migrating and their bodies slowly coming closer and closer to one another.

By the time the noises in the kitchen stopped, Misha had Jared lain out on the couch, his hand in the other's pants, groping at his already hard cock. Jared wasn't far behind, one hand down the back of Misha's pants, the other fumbling with getting his belt open as Misha rutted against his hip.

Jared gasped when Misha pulled back and he took in both Vikki and Gen standing behind the couch, looking at them with an amused sort of look on their faces. It took him all of five seconds to realize that his cock was on full display and to start panicking, trying to reach for the blanket he couldn't quite get to. Vikki took pity on him and pushed it off over his lap and Misha's hand, which was still touching him despite the audience. "Ain't nothing I've never seen," she offered, shrugging and then leaning on the back of the couch. "Don’t mean to interrupt, but... West is awake and restless. Perhaps you'd like to change rooms."

Gen spoke up before Jared could even open his mouth to protest. "We'll bring the crib out here. It's on rollers, after all."

Jared eased up a little bit, still looking sincerely uncomfortable with a whole audience. Misha must have noticed because he tucked him back into his underwear and pulled his pants back into place, zipping them slightly so they weren't going to fall off if he stood up.

A few more moments and then Misha stood up, offering his hand to Jared. "Probably more comfortable in there anyway."

Jared hesitated, looking toward Vikki and Gen, an odd look on his face, as if he were waiting for some form of permission.

"Oh for God's sake," Gen huffed out, "What? You suddenly think it's not okay because I'm standing here?" She let out a laugh and made a shooing gesture. "Go get some."

One glance at Vikki revealed a rather amused look and he pushed himself up, pushing the blanket away and making sure his pants weren't fully falling off before he started shuffling off after Misha. Gen followed, getting the crib and rolling it out, Misha getting West out of the room and handing him over to Vikki. 

Once the door was firmly shut behind them, Jared shot Misha a small apologetic look. "I didn't mean to panic like that."

Misha motioned him over, tugging him down onto the bed and then settling down beside him. "You're still getting used to this and, trust me, I understand that. As far as I understand it, you also have huge issues with the kids seeing any sort of behavior like that from you, right?" At the nod he received, he shrugged a little. "So randomly seeing someone there when I pulled back, freaked you out. Reasonable since you were the exposed one in that scenario. Now stop worrying so damn much."

Jared breathed out a soft laugh and rolled over to bury his face against Misha's neck, inhaling the scent of his body, so unique. It turned him on almost instantly to be in a position like this with the other and he shifted closer, his hand pulling Misha in as well. Their legs entangled and rather quickly, they were back at the point they had been in the living room, Jared eagerly pushing himself up into Misha's hand, his own fingers finally getting Misha's pants open.

A few more moments and then Jared pushed Misha over onto his back, struggling out of his jeans and then straddling Misha's hips. Leaning down over him, he caught his lips in a heated kiss, groaning as he guided the other actor's hand to his cock and then freed Misha's own from his boxers. A few more heated kisses were exchanged before Jared reached over into his drawer and pulled out the lube, pressing it into Misha's hand. Sitting back, he stared down at him for a moment and then breathed out, "Prep me... I want this. I've wanted it since day one and I need to have you."

Misha unleashed a moan, not hesitating or arguing in the least. Instead, he gave Jared a wicked grin and reached over onto the nightstand, flicking on the music and breathing out an easy laugh. "Protection?"

Jared smirked, rolling off of him and spreading his legs, waiting on the other to go ahead with this. The instant Misha was between his legs, his slid fingers sliding against his entrance, Jared just closed his eyes and breathed out a pleased sigh. "One at a time... I've never gone bigger than one finger."

"It's okay," Misha breathed out against his chest, his mouth catching one nipple and sucking on it as he pushed the first finger inside, causing Jared to cry out. "You like that?" At the breathless affirmative gasp, he started to move his finger in and out, watching Jared squirm under him. "You're so sensitive to this... God, you'll lose it when I take you, won't you?"

"Y-yes," Jared breathed out, his hips straining up for a moment before he squirmed and settled again, little moans and whimpers coming from him as Misha got him good and aroused with just that single digit. More lube was added and then, slowly, a second finger was eased into his body, causing Jared to tremble with the intensity of it. "Oh _fuck_." It was a tight fit, even at two fingers, he felt so stretched it was ridiculous, but he adored it all the same. He shuddered every single time that Misha thrust the digits into him.

There was a few moments in which Jared had his eyes shut and then a moment later, Misha's mouth was sliding down over his cock, providing him with dual sensations that were almost too much for him. His body squirmed around and strained, a little cry unleashing from his lips as Misha struck gold in a number of ways all at once. Immediately, Jared's hands were tangled in Misha's hair, his body writhing beneath his touches as Misha's fingers fucked him quickly. "I... Misha," he moaned out, giving one more fruitless tug before he fell over the edge, nearly screaming as he came so hard he was certain he actually blacked out for a few seconds.

Lying there, he panted harshly, trying to catch his breath as he stared at the ceiling. Eventually, Misha moved up over him, licking his lips and then smirking at him as he easily slid three fingers inside him. "Ah, so much better... it'll be easier for you to take me now."

There were a few seconds in which Jared couldn't quite catch up and then he breathed out a laugh, realizing Misha had gotten him off on purpose, wanting him to relax and knowing the best way was to ease him through it like this. He lay there, feeling somewhat boneless, his fingers threading through Misha's hair as the other kissed at his belly and then sucked on his nipple again for a while. "Do you want me to do something for you?" he asked quietly, feeling like this was so much about him that he had to at least offer.

"Oh... you'll be doing something huge for me soon enough." Misha bit lightly at his bicep and then pulled his fingers free, reaching for a tissue and rooting in the drawer for a condom. He pulled back and quickly opened it, rolling it over his cock, adding lube, and then wiping his hand off on the tissue. There were a few seconds in which he moved around, positioning himself, and then the hot press of Misha's dick was against Jared's entrance and he found himself straining up toward him, his heart rapidly thudding in his chest.

"Please," Jared pleaded with Misha, his hands coming to grasp the other's arms, his grip tight as he spread his legs a bit more and then pulled them up slightly for a better angle. "I need you."

Slowly, Misha began to ease himself into Jared's body, sinking into the tight heat the other provided. It took a bit for Jared to adjust but when he did, it was incredibly obvious, his body stopping clenching around him and his legs coming to rest along Misha's sides. He carefully took hold of one thigh, the other hand on the bed next to Jared as he started to move, the bed protesting the movements, the steady squeak of the springs giving away what they were doing more than anything else if someone were listening closely under the sound of the music.

Misha was gentle about it, not really laying into Jared at all, obviously very restrained about what he was doing. And while it took a while, Jared finally eased into it enough he wanted more. His cock lay thick against his own stomach, engorged with his arousal, proving he was definitely enjoying what was going on. He reached up for the headboard, grasping ahold of the bottom rung of it, unleashing a low moan and then straining up toward him for a few moments. "Do it... do it hard," he breathed out. "Just lose it with me, Misha."

It didn't take but a few seconds for Misha to comply with Jared's request, his hands moving to the headboard to hold onto it instead, giving him more leverage. The sound of skin slapping against skin rivaled the squeak of the bedsprings as they ramped up. Jared strained up under him, moaning as he grabbed his cock and started jerking off with one hand. A loud groan parted ways with Misha's vocal cords and Jared's eyes snapped up to his face, watching as the other started to cum, his own hand moving faster and faster as he started to feel the throb of Misha's cock, buried deep inside him.

"Oh God," Jared hissed out, "you feel so fucking good!" A sharp shudder ripped through him and then a cry unleashed itself as he lost himself for the second time, cum splattering out over his abdomen, his legs straining against Misha. A few more straining seconds went by before he eased up and then breathed out a sigh of relief. 

Misha pulled out, discarding the condom quickly and then slid down on the bed next to him, making sure to tuck Jared against himself before pressing his lips against his ear. "Deduction?"

"That was... amazing... mind-blowing... earth-moving." Jared released a quiet laugh, his hands sliding over Misha's body in a caring sort of manner. "I can't believe we just did that... with both of them in the next room."

Misha chuckled, his fingertips gathering up part of Jared's cum and bringing up to the younger's mouth, sliding the slick substance over his lower lip and then leaning in and licking it off. "Mmm... Vikki likes to hear me with another man. I guess we'll find out if Gen likes it, too." He bit lightly under the other's jaw and then licked the spot to let him know he was sorry.

Pulling back, he gazed down into Jared's face, the look in his eyes saying everything that his words did not. And the moment that Jared met his gaze, they both knew it was entirely mutual.


End file.
